3 PRACTICAL WAYS TO NOURISH YOUR WORK AND PERSONAL LIFE
Experts often talk about people’s needs for meaningful and purpose-driven work. But what about work that nourishes you, energizes you and brings you joy? We often just accept that work doesn’t do those things without questioning and realizing how much power we actually have. We’re not asking you to change jobs or burn up your entire career or relationships to this.
Hang tight and let’s get into how this can be possible for you. We’ll give you three simple and yes, challenging ways to cultivate a more nourishing life as a leader and professional. Remember that saying that anything worthwhile is going to be challenging?
Isn’t Nourishment About Food?
Yes! Nourishment is defined as the food or other substances necessary for growth and good health. So, when we are talking about nourishing work and life, it’s the things that are necessary for growth and a healthy and joyful life. Massages and meal prep are great. We are talking about more than just a little self-care.
The things we are talking about go deeper and last longer than the moments after that massage or the week you felt the benefits of the prep you did on Sunday. This is the stuff that will keep your cup full so that you aren’t thinking about how to get through the day. Instead, you are excited about your days and flow through them with ease.
3 Simple Ways to Cultivate Professional and Personal Nourishment
Expand Your Perception and Take Responsibility
“Much of our impoverishment derives precisely and directly from a failure of imagination.”
Our neural pathways have been forming over a lifetime as we play our core beliefs on repeat in our minds. We all do this. It’s human, and you’re not alone. Challenging our core beliefs can be daunting–especially when we don’t even notice how automatic and “natural” they feel. When it comes to nourishment, replacing our limiting beliefs with the wonder of possibility is an energizing practice.
THE NOURISHING BENEFITS OF BEING WRONG: doubt your doubts
One way to begin challenging your mental models is to look for evidence that proves you wrong. Our culture is often a righteous culture–we feel safe and valuable when we’re right. But what if it’s actually nourishing to be wrong sometimes?
For example, what if you’ve often believed you’re an imposter, or that when people disagree with you they must be questioning your intelligence? What if…you’re wrong? What if you’re not an imposter, but a passionate leader with valuable skills? What if when someone disagrees with you, they actually feel safe enough around you to share their real opinions and highly respect your intelligence? To expand your perception, begin to look for evidence that contradicts your mental model.
When we consciously watch for something, it begins to appear in abundance. This isn’t some sort of woo-woo, blind faith idea. There is science behind it. Our reticular activating system is a bundle of nerves in your brainstem and it’s job is to filter information so that only the things we are focused on (the important stuff) comes through.
Since our mental models are so ingrained, we unconsciously focus on them all the time and as a result, spot evidence to support them constantly. The first step in challenging these narratives is to open to the possibility of something different and focus on that.
“My biggest discovery was that you can literally re-create your life. You can redefine it. You don’t have to live in the past. I found that not only did I have fight in me, I had love.”
Create your life rather than react to it. This is a leader’s responsibility. Almost everyone has their own set of painful, self sabotaging narratives resulting from growing up in this world. As we develop, we begin to have choices as to what we want to do with these mental models. We realize we are out of the danger we were once in as a child, teenager or even young adult, and we can nourish a sense of safety and trust in the world.
2. Don’t “Over-Water” Your Work Relationships
“It’s dark because you are trying too hard.
Lightly child, lightly.
Learn to do everything lightly.
Think lightly, act lightly, feel lightly.
Yes, feel lightly even though
you’re feeling deeply.
”
One of the most nourishing things we can do for ourselves is to monitor our striving. We’ve been trying to prove our worthiness for so long we don’t even notice how hard we’re trying to measure up.
In all of our striving, we often over-water the very dreams and goals we’re trying to obtain. Many of us strive for more freedom and autonomy, and in doing so, we get trapped working ourselves to exhaustion on our road to retirement or more free time. We grasp at the result we want and try to control every step of the journey. It’s exhausting!
Articulating an intention, and leaving space for the unknown to unfold rather than trying to force everything to happen requires letting go and some faith- both in yourself and in the world around you. The results of this might not be exactly as you wanted or even expected, but they are often more joyful.
The journey is filled with ease and we aren’t completely spent by the time we get there. This letting go opens up possibilities that we might not have ever imagined or have been able to orchestrate on our own.
3. Commit To Being With Your Emotions
“…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.”
One of the hardest things for all of us is to commit to allowing our emotions to run their course. We have not trusted our emotions for years, and it takes time to learn their deep wisdom. Commit to learning about and experiencing your emotions the same way you would commit to acquiring any new skill–there will be times when you want to give up and run away, but when you stay with it, the results are freeing.
Staying with feelings is tough. We are constantly running from the uncomfortable. Self- Compassion is essential to riding the wave of our emotions. Know that while you probably have a great reason for feeling the way you do, you may not know it right away. Be with the unknown and give those feelings enough time to reveal something to you. There is no need to explain yourself to anyone - including your mind. Pausing to listen and learn the language of these various states often yields so much wisdom we didn’t even realize we had.
Life and work does not have to be so blah, monotonous, busy and overwhelming. With a bit of intention and willingness to let go, we can open the door to a much more fulfilling and colorful experience.
